Tuesday, March 13, 2012

My first fantasy

In my stream of acquisitions of likes and liquidation of dislikes, I have evolved considerably.  I can only hope that the me I have been acquiring little by little over the years is even just a little better than the old one.  And if so,  I further hope that the me now is the best I have ever been.  I hope this because I love the me who i have become and shiver at the thought of digressing back to who I was.  I love the passion I have discovered, and I love the person I have forged amidst these passion's flames.  The me who has emerged from my heart's furnace is someone whose feelings are as powerful, as important to my survival as food.  Whose desires play as much a role on my existence as my lungs.

And so far only one fantasy has been shaped by these fires:  creating my world within our world (if possible, with someone other than myself).

How can this be done?

one way is to have noise canceling headphones, find a song that communicates passion, and dance to it outside my apartment or any location not typical to dancing.
Dancing has opened me up to a world within a world.  When I go to a club sometimes I close me eyes and let the music control where and how I move my body.  This is almost always in deep contrast to the style of dance that surrounds me which effectively puts me into my own world.  But since everyone around me is still dancing, I have a hard time accepting this is MY world.  I would need an even deeper contrast, which is why I feel doing it in a place where people don't commonly dance would satisfy.

As other world creating ways are discovered, their duly post will promptly follow.


  1. When I walk to class I often let myself enter my own world by putting on similar noise cancelling headphones, walking to the beat of the music, and letting my mind wander though the sounds and words I hear. Even though I have a specific purpose (getting to my classroom) I'm still in a sort of "different world" I sometimes forget what I'm doing and find myself still standing at the corner of the intersection while everyone else has already crossed the street.

    Just last week, I was in the world. i was letting the sounds from the headphones and the sights of people, cars, buildings, take my mind into new paces when I woman walking passed me gave me a smile. It happened quickly. I smiled back just before we passed each other and went out of sight. She instigated this smile trading and it shattered my little world I was in (in a pleasant way.) I thought of the exchanged smiles for the rest of the walk to class. Why did she give me a smile? Why was it such a straight forward, confident smile? I thought maybe I have something funny stuck on my face like food or bird poo...nope. Maybe my hair is crazy because of the headphones and the wind...nope. It was such a quick and honest smile. I dare say it was an innocent smile. I kept thinking about it and thinking about it then I realized she not only shattered my little world but created a new one with herself present all in a matter of a second.

    And that got me thinking about how I could do the same thing to others. I could create new, very personal worlds with other people in just seconds. I even have the power to create worlds that make one smile OR frown.

    So there's another way to create a world worth living in: breaking social norms in a positive way.

  2. beautiful!!!!

    Imagine how amazing it would be to dedicate your life to this. but also imagine how tiresome it could be. amazing in that we could experience this other worldly experience more, tiresome in that it would be very difficult to purposefully create transportation experiences because it would require that someone would also be willing, and since we would be directly involved (unlike indirectly like your smile shattering experience above) we would undoubtedly run into a lot of rejection. we would have to be involved emotionally enough to take a willing traveler with us, but then emotionally detached enough to not fall too hard if our target wasn't so willing.

    could it be possible to get used to this kind of experience? meaning could we experience it enough to actually become numb to its sparkle?

    Your last sentence "breaking social norms" is basically a generalization of the only way I know how to create this other world. my dancing method is just one baby under that mother.

    also, why do you "dare" say it was innocent? has innocence become that rare to almost be a myth? like "I dare say that is a dinosaur in my house".

    And what made it innocent? the inability to not do it? like being tickled. Or was it the raw unadulterated nature. Like loving. (when you try to explain why it was innocent, I dare say you won't use the word "child-like")