Thursday, April 5, 2012


OK everyone, do you wanna WIN?!?!  


Are you starving for a victory?!?!


Do you know what to do?!?!?!


...I sensed some doubt in your last "YEA", and I understand why so don't worry.  I have expected this and I have come prepared with a game plan.  But we have one problem.  Our team is powerful, but it is clear that we can't beat the other teams as we are.  They all have an Ace that is just too powerful for us.

I mean look!!!  Last year we went up against team WOLF and what happened?  Do you remember Ear?  Their Ear could hear you coming a mile away.

I hope for your sake Tongue, we never repeat what happened with team SNAKE.  Their Tongue could taste your fear.

Please, please, PLEASE tell me Nose you understand what went wrong when we fought team DOG.  Their Nose sniffed you right out of that hole you were hiding in.

2 years ago we faced team MOLE.  We don't need to recount the embarrassment you felt Skin when you battled it out with theirs.  AND THEY WERE OUT AN EYE!!!  

And Eye!!!  Did you already forget about yesterday?!?!  Team HAWK's Eye could see right through you!!! 

It is evident that we also need an Ace.  Otherwise we will never take the championship.  But what or Who could be our Ace?  He has to be unique enough to be unexpected, to take our competition by surprise,  but conform to our basic characteristics to maintain solidarity.  Who COULD that be?!?!?

We don't have to go about this randomly without some direction.  If we could come to an understanding about what characteristics you all share, then we could see who we have that is more powerful than anyone they have and also shares these characteristics.

Hmmmmm, for starters you all are good at one thing.  Eye, you see great.  Ear, you hear the best.  Skin, you feel all right.  Nose, you smell perfect.  Tongue, you taste unbelievably.  so I guess our Ace must specialize at something

That was easy, but that can't be it right?  there must be more.  OH!!! remember Team MOLE?  Remember how they won even though their Eye was gone.  YEA!!!  Think about it ... last week it was very cold you missed practice Nose, but we performed all right.  We weren't our best, but we functioned correctly as a team.  So I guess another thing is we must be able to function as a team without our Ace.

That makes 2.  I think with one more we might have a strict enough criteria to filter out our Ace.  And it so happens the last one should be the easiest to judge.  Just like team DOG's nose is the best, our Ace must be better then you all at the game.

We see the importance of this when we look at how the other teams play.  All the other players help out their Ace.  They all play around, and focus on supporting the Ace to score.  And the Ace almost always scores.  Sometimes circumstances are that one of the lesser players gets a lucky point or two, but the game winner is always, without fail, the Ace.

So with complete reliance on our Ace, we should expect our team to pick up and take its place in the competition.  Maybe even become #1.

number 1 coach?!?!?!  don't you think that is setting our sights a little high?  don't you think we should shoot for #700, and work up from there?

I do not!!!  and it saddens me that I have to explain to you why.  If you haven't noticed, we are at a special position here.  We are at point in the game where if we play our cards right and find that Ace quick, we won't even have time to see spot #700 we will be flying up so fast.  We might have a day or two to enjoy #3 and 2, but #1 is a guarantee!!!  And not only that, it is a guarantee with an indefinite expiration.  Do you see why?, I can't really see coach, I'm just Tongue.

Percisely!!!  You are Tongue!!!  You only taste.  And you only hear, and you only touch, and you only smell, and YOU see!!!!  All the other teams have their version of you all too.  Just one of them is their Ace.  That makes 4 supporting players and 1 Ace.  5 players.  We have 5 players too, but no Ace.  Do you see where I am going now?

Yea!!! Once we find our Ace, we will have 6 players!!!!

Exactally Nose!! though I don't know how you were able to see that.  Just the fact of having one more player makes us more powerful than any other team, but on top of that, he will be our Ace!!!!  We will be unstoppable!!!  HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

We just have to find him, and I think it should be easy now that we know who we are looking for.   So......who could he be?  What do we have that the other teams don't?


Wait Skin, I am thinking.  We gotta find our Ace...


I said wait Nose,  don't distract me while I try to find our Ace...


Please tongue!!! The championship is eminent, this is too important!!!

COACH BRAIN!!!!!!!!    WE HAVE YOU!!!!!!!

What are you talking about Ear?

Maybe you are the Ace?

.........HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  You're kidding right?  HAHAHAHA!!!!   No wonder we have been sucking so bad!!!!!  With that kind of logic, we might as well be playing different game, like religion!!!!  HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  Maybe I am the Ace!!!!  HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  HOW could I be the Ace?!?!?  I am Brain!!!! Every other team has one of me because I AM THE COACH!!!  I don't play the game, I just help you play it!!!!!  I don't even conform to all the characteristics we just barely named!!!!!  Sure back in the day I was probably better than you all, and yea I am pretty good at thinking, BUT can you function as a team without me?



ANSWER!!!! CAN YOU?!?!?!

OF COURSE YOU CAN'T!!!!  AND YOU ALL KNOW IT!!!!!  Remember that time I took a trip to Wonderland?  You were all a mess!!!!!  I was gone for only a couple of hours and you all barely survived.  It took me 3 days to bring you all back from your paralytic states.  Tongue, you couldn't stop eating!!!  Eye, you stared at a flower for 5 hours.  5 HOURS!!!!  your thought it was a UFO!!!!  Nose, you kept smelling my hair saying it reminded you of sputum.  Ear, won't let those noises you heard ever be understood again.  Skin, you were the only one I could somewhat understand.  You just loved everything.  I see nothing wrong with that.  If it wasn't for Cre...........THATS IT!!!!! She is OUR ACE!!!!!!!  Where is she?  WHERE IS SHE?!?!  Can you see her Eye?

Yea, she is standing right next to you.  She has been there since I could see.

OH MY!!!!!!!!!  Our Ace has been here next to me the whole time!!!!!

This is it.  Our time has come.  We will take the game by storm.  And all the other teams will be left in the our dust trying to catch up!!!!!...

I think.